When trying for a daughter leaves Rosie with five beautiful boys, she’s unaware of what life will throw at her. Her youngest boy Claude – the one she was so sure was going to be a baby girl but ended up being a boy- is quick little learner. Claude learns to crawl, walk, and talk faster than any of his brothers did and his vocabulary is extraordinary for his age. He is a wonder to his parents. At the age of 3, Claude causally informs his parents he wants to be a girl when he grows up. Just recently, he had also claimed he wanted to be an ice cream cone when he grows up. So when his parents Rosie and Penn hear that he wants to be a girl, they give their standard “You can be whatever you like baby” response.
As interests in dresses and princesses continue, Rosie and Penn realize they have a child who may be transgender. How do they address this? What steps do they need to take? All they know is they are going to be supportive no matter what, but how? How will they continue their lives while minimizing as much as possible how different Claude is? When Claude wears a bikini to the community pool and other parents make remarks, rather than making it known which child they were referring to, Penn replies about how his other son’s fins are indeed an unrealistic outfit for a pool. When Claude begins kindergarten, he faces indirect discrimination from his teacher who begins to set specific rules directed at him. So, Rosie takes it upon herself to speak up rather than silently comply. After changing his pronouns to she/her, Claude’s parents must do what they can to support her, but what are they to do in the face of violence?
Laurie Frankel’s This is How it Always is has made my list of top books I recommend for others to read or listen to. Written as though we have front row seats to Rosie, Penn, Claude, and Poppy’s mind, we get a special insight into their thoughts. The writing style is a bit different such as longer sentences but I believe that is on account that we are basically reading and listening to the character’s thoughts. Overall, a must read. Frankel does an astounding job in regards to building each character and portraying their growth in various ways. The messages This is How it Always is attempts to convey to it’s readers are easy to follow. There isn’t need of too much interpretation to figure out what Frankel is trying to say. I personally appreciated this as there are so many different emotions one is working throughout this book and the writing style allows you to feel that as you go along. Although a couple reviews claimed that this book has too much a positive outlook on the topic and might be unrealistic, I actually disagree. Yes, not everyone is fortunate enough to have a supportive family but Frankel portrays what one might go through even if you do have a supportive family. There are still internal and external hardships someone may face no matter the amount of support they may have.
Toys, clothes, and colors are the first items that come to mind when I think of things that are deemed gender specific. Imagine your child can’t bring his favorite toy to school because it is a doll and are told these are toys for girls, not boys. Who made that decision to begin with? It is so vital for us to break these notions. In order to let the younger generations to feel the freedom to be their true selves we must teach ourselves to stop seeing things as gender specific. Not only does that allow your own child to grow in their own way, but teaching them there are no gender specific toys, colors, or clothes, you teach your child to accept others as they are. As adults, when we are criticized or discriminated against, the effect on our emotions lingers for a long time, sometimes never going away. Now, put yourself in the position of a child who is still learning their emotions. You get made fun of for the way you dress or for your favorite toy. Think of the impact that has on a young child who is still figuring their way out. In a way, we are boxing them in and not allowing them to grow. Having a toddler niece and nephew has made me so cautious and rethink what I say to and around them. We have been conditioned into thinking a certain way but that doesn’t mean we still can’t learn and grow ourselves.
Overall, I highly recommend Laurie Frankel’s This is How it Always is for young adults and above. An emotional read, Frankel weaves the naivety of children with that of adults. Exceptional character growth leads, not just the main characters, but all the characters to a different position by the end of the book. A story of acceptance, hardships, fear, and absolute love, This is How it Always is has made a special place on my recommendation list.
Nish Jots Her Thoughts 